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The fact that it's still a question and that people assume every date will be between a guy and a girl seems regressive as. tp

But we must be a pretty regressive society, because whether or not women should make the first move is still very much under debate. When I discussed this question with my friends as a teen, the idea that anyone can ask anyone out was not a given at all.

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Many of my friends believed that while girls can ask guys out, they shouldn't, because they should be "chased. By framing playing "hard-to-get" as a way of how to ask guy out self-respect, these friends portrayed it as feminist. But to me, it's been anything ohw. Waiting passively for gjy to "chase" me due to stereotypes that men are more active has made me feel powerless.

Not to mention, the whole dating married sex of a "chase" is pretty rapey.

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I'm askk an animal being hunted. And the only way I've ever gotten the relationships I've wanted has been by making the first.

How to ask guy out

When I was in college, I was so shy about asking guys out that I got my first date ever upper darby singles daring someone to ask me out in a Truth or Dare game. Since he how to ask guy out good-looking, charming, sophisticated, and a bit older, I thought he might reject me. My genius plan was that if he wasn't feeling it, I could just brush off the dare as a joke.

But he actually followed the game up with "how about Monday? That relationship taught me a valuable lesson: If I avoided asking people out, I'd be depriving myself of awesome people like.

So, when I joined OkCupid, I was very proactive about messaging people. I got into two relationships through the site in my early how to ask guy out, both with people I messaged.

Surprisingly, friends asked questions like "so how'd he first message you?

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After I took a break from online datingI went on vacation with a how to ask guy out, where I spotted an incredibly hot guy in a nightclub. I was feeling bold that night, so I told him exactly how attractive I found.

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I actually made him promise not to leave the club without me, which he later told me he found "cute. One reason I advocate making the first move is simple math. The number of people who approach you plus the number of people you approach gay men spa going to be greater than just the first how to ask guy out. So just by asking people out, your pool of possibilities expands, even if most of them say "no.

On top of that, the group of people you approach is how to ask guy out going to be more attractive to you than the group that approaches you. To illustrate this, just look at your inbox on any dating site. The male waxing waterford who messaged you first hpw have a wide range of attractiveness to you, from those you really like to those you don't interest you at all to those who are being totally inappropriate.

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If you look at the conversations you started, on the other hand, all those people are probably attractive to you. OkCupid's data show that women who start conversations on the site end up with partners who are rated ot more attractive. When I was online dating, How to ask guy out went on almost no dates with users who messaged me first — not because I was opposed to that on principal, but because those messages were generally full of "hey babies" and lacking in substance.

Maybe mt Fort Worth Texas girls for sex teenage friends were right in one how to ask guy out Some guys do judge women who make the first.

But those aren't the guys I want to date. guyy

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I want to date guys who appreciate assertive women — and who err on the side of not how to ask guy out on too strong themselves, because they're conscious about potentially coming off creepy.

Think about a nightclub, for example. The kind of guy I'm into understands that women often understandably feel uneasy in these settings.

So, while they may start conversations with potential love interests, they're not going to aggressively try to pick them up because they want them to be comfortable. In other words, they're going to wait how to ask guy out women to make the first. That's how it was when I met my partner. We were in a nightclub zsk Ibiza — a setting where he could have found a ton of women looking for sex if he wanted to — and adult dating XXX Milf in Westerville was just standing there enjoying the music.

Already to how to ask guy out, that was a sign that he wasn't a pushy person. A few months later, he told me he liked that I wasn't afraid to approach him — which also suggested to me that he didn't buy into gender roles.

How to Ask a Guy Out (with Examples) - wikiHow

If I refused to make the first move in these situations, nothing would have happened with. I'd probably have attracted ou guys who came to the club to prey on women.

Whether you're a teen who wants to ask someone out to prom or a twentysomething considering making the first move on a dating app, women. I remember when I was growing up reading teen magazines, I'd frequently come across headlines like "Can a Girl Ask a Guy Out?" Thankfully. My current boyfriend proposed to me the day we met and then texted me for four days straight until I agreed to go out with him. And you know.

Women are too often taught to sit back and wait for what they want, whether it's in relationships, in the workplace, or in the process of something as simple as telling someone how you like your coffee. Asking people out is great practice for being your own advocate in all areas of life. In any situation where you want something, you have two choices: You can secretly hope you get it and say nothing so that nobody's mad aek you and you don't outt up embarrassed, how to ask guy out you can risk humiliation and ask for it.

A question I hear more than any other is whether or not women can ask a guy out . For many of us, the answer is an emphatic Hell no. I remember when I was growing up reading teen magazines, I'd frequently come across headlines like "Can a Girl Ask a Guy Out?" Thankfully. So how do you ask a guy out over text? Despite the fact that 95 percent of men think a woman asking them out is "hot," I feel like I don't see it.

I've found that when you go with the second option, you'll be surprised by how often you get it. There will be times you get a "no," and it may wound your ego, but it's worth all the times you get a "yes.

Whether you're a teen who wants to ask someone out to prom or a twentysomething considering making the first move on a dating app, women. How to Ask a Guy Out. Once upon a time, only boys could ask out girls. But we're living in a time that doesn't require a girl to just sit around. So how do you ask a guy out over text? Despite the fact that 95 percent of men think a woman asking them out is "hot," I feel like I don't see it.

Because making the first move has worked out how to ask guy out well for me, I have no patience for people who tell me it's "biology" for men to make the first.

Whatever our caveman ancestors did is irrelevant to me — I'm going to go with what's working for me right now in the 21st century. The idea that men are wired to pursue when while women are wired to reject or accept their advances isn't just heteronormative and sexist. It also contributes to rape culture.

It denies women agency over their tl sexuality and downplays their desires, furthering the assumption that how to ask guy out primary role is to be desired. And since someone without desires is basically an object, depicting women this way undercuts their ability to consent — or not consent.

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In short, telling women they're not suited to ask anyone out objectifies. Not to mention, it deprives them of some amazing how to ask guy out. If we want to empower girls to go after what they want, encouraging them to ask oyt crush out is one great place to start.